2.03.12

And a hot potato too, with all that foil.

Oh, Jiggly. Oh, Jiggy Jiggly. I wanted to like you. I really did. But then you went and fucked everything up.

She started on the right foot with me- I’m a huge nerd, so I appreciated her Pokémon-inspired drag name, and I’m also quite fond of Filipinos (you can thank Manila Luzon, Darren Criss, and Lea Salonga for that). She seemed to have a cute, quirky personality, and despite her literally trashy runway look, she was doing her best to sell it to the judges. Her look might have busted, but she made that lipsync her bitch and worked it like Laquifa the pimp-ho. 

But then came Untucked and all that goodwill went to shit. Jiggly got ugly

While my opinion of Jiggly went down the drain, Lashauwn Beyond made me like her a whole lot more because everything she said to Jiggly was pretty damn true. Remember that list I talked about when I was elaborating where Alisa went horribly wrong? You know, the list I would make of things I would want to remember if I was ever cast on RPDR? Well right under “DON’T FUCKING WEAR A BREASTPLATE”, I would write, “LEARN HOW TO MOTHERFUCKING SEW”. 

This is season four of this show. SEASON FOUR. There is no excuse, none whatsoever, for a contestant to go on this show and not know how to sew. Or if they don’t know how to sew properly, then they have no fucking right to complain about it or make excuses. The first episode of every single season so far has been to make a drag look out of shit. Season one? Thrift store shit. Season two? Window shit. Season three? Christmas shit. So coming on this show and acting surprised when you have to make something out of shit is a load of fucking bullshit

And that’s not to mention all of the other sewing-related challenges that come up throughout the season. Making looks out of money, wedding dresses, and hair. Making looks for old queens, biological women, and straight guys. The bottom line is, if you can’t sew then gtfo. Again, it’s season four, so all the queens had better damn know what’s coming. Seriously, take some sewing classes, for fuck’s sake. In the least, don’t sit there and act like not knowing how to sew is some kind of excuse. 

And Jiggly, honey, you’re a drag queen best known for having the shittiest look on the first episode of season four of RPDR, not motherfucking Beyonce. I’m sure Beyonce doesn’t clean her own house, but I bet she did before she was famous or else she’d probably still be buried under a pile of trash not unlike the one you made your Rupocalypse look from.

Credit where credit is due, though- Jiggly gives great face.

  1. thatqueensadrag posted this